Win The Moment

I've seen parts of this poem in two different places in the past two days and want to share it:

Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann c.1920
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I was back at Whole Foods this week and tried to memorize the quote from Eckhart Tolle that I saw there recently. Here it is to the best of my memory:

"When you are in the Now, your attention fully in the present moment, that presence will flow into and transform all that you do." -Eckhart Tolle

I have been trying to do this lately, to not live in the future or the past, but to live in this day, this moment, for I only have it to live once. Focusing on keeping a continuous breath without pause (as I read about in The Presence Process) helps me do this at times, as well as my mantra of late:
breathing in:   "Win..."
breathing out: "the Moment..."
:)

Baseball and Life

"I walked down to the end of the street tonight and watched a little league baseball game. The kids were the age where most of them still know how to run better than throw or catch. It was the first time I've ever seen someone make an inside-the-park home run on a bunt.

I was impressed by the coaches of one all-black team. They were competitive, knew baseball, and encouraged their players to play as professionals (such as telling them to try to throw out a player stealing second base, even though some of them couldn't throw very well). Most impressive was when a player on their team made a mistake, they didn't berate them, but put their arm around them and talked to them (I imagine about how to improve it next time), told them it was ok, or in some way encouraged them. It did my heart good to see coaches who enjoy what they do, pass on their knowledge, and care about their players as they did!"

Redemption of Suffering

I wrote this while staying with my parents last month after having a spinal tap, being extremely sensitive to light, and not being able to get out of bed. After my Dad had come into my room and brought me some food, I was wondering about the purpose of suffering. It occurred to me that one thing suffering can do is display the beauty of compassion in people and, at our best, spur us to work together. I also noticed, after not seeing anything outside for I don't know how many days, how beautiful are the crevices of bark on a tree in the afternoon sun. During that time I made an attempt to write down these thoughts:

The Thread

In the tapestry of this world,

there is a mysterious thread

that touches every other,

from the base to the head.

It is a thread called suffering,

and its color is thundering.

"What's the purpose of this cast?"

leaves the other wovens wondering.

But the Weaver knows,

in both fair and foul weather,

this one displays the kindness of the whole,

and binds them all together.

Because of this one,

the others are even brighter,

and working with this thunder,

makes the whole even tighter.

Clay

I wrote this on July 8th of this year when, after seeing a neurologist, I knew my extreme light sensitivity could be due to a spinal fluid leak. I would have a spinal tap the following week:

"Since I've been sensitive to light recently, I've needed to keep my room dark as I lay in bed at times during the day. Yesterday it was raining and I thought about what St. John of the Cross must have felt, being held at one time in a cold cell in a castle for his beliefs. Difficulties make me want to write at times. I started this yesterday while staring at the darkness in bed:

Why, O’ Potter, dark do you keep

with once prized, now sharded crest,

an earthen cistern in the deep

of this tumultuous, strong tempest?

In the swirling, do vases fly,

as in an universal dance,

some wet and leaking, but some dry

flashing in woven appearance.

So cries a vessel made of clay,

in cracked and dripping form,

“What’s the reason, why this way?”

amidst a blinding, crashing storm.

Pot-maker breathes, “My clay, don’t weep,

I make you and I make the years,

Breathe with me from within the deep,

To transport peace not holding fears.”

A Day to Remember

I spent the afternoon today in the sun at Bull Creek in Austin, swung on a rope swing, and watched dogs and people play. It's been years since I've done this and felt as good with the oscillating energy I've had. I felt like I should go study for my teacher certification program, but I just stayed as long as I desired, soaked in the sun, and let its healing rays penetrate my body.

I just finished reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller this week. He writes about life as living a story. Interesting stories have struggle. As Miller says, nobody goes to a movie to see a story about a guy who wants a Volvo, buys it, and that's it. Miller says we can choose things to attempt in our lives that make for a good story. I'd add however that some things happen to us in life that we don't choose. But that's what usually happens in the movies anyway. I felt better reading his book as I thought I have the makings of a good story.

Several weeks later now as I continue this post:
But Reality is not Hollywood. People die in earthquakes and floods, end of story. In this life at least. I used to dream of doing big things. I just moved into a house on a multi-ethnic street in East Austin last week, my neighbors on the right are Black and on the left Hispanic. Our "Abuelita" neighbor has brought us food twice in less that a week. Since we don't have our internet hooked up yet, I'm currently sitting outdoors at a cafe in East Austin that has Wifi. A few minutes ago, a young black man on the street walked by and we made eye contact. I could see he had a cut and dried blood on his cheek. He came over and sat down at my table. He told me he got hit in the face with a brick last night. We were able to share our stories of how things happen to us in life that we don't expect. He walked away with a smile on his face. Right now, sharing stories and making connections, that's big enough for me.

The Most Fulfilling Reality

I've had fatigue for the past 3 years and realize that it might be chronic fatigue syndrome. Seeing people around me who don't have this sometimes makes me wonder why I do. I had several thoughts a few nights ago after reading a book that made me declare to the world:

"Reality, unfold in my life in the most fulfilling way!"

Then I had this thought:
"The most fulfilling way is not always the easiest way."

Followed by this belief (which I choose to believe):
"Reality is unfolding in my life in the most fulfilling way, that I don't even know."

"Everything happens for a reason."